I feel strong

enough now to talk a bit of Friday. I still have issues to manage my life now without any mathematic problems to solve. My dreams contain vectorial questions mixed with surreal situations concerning all day life. Anyway, I've never learned so much in my life for any mathematic test whatsoever and did it have any sense? No, stupid A-Level. On Thursday, I actually thought I had the slightest chance to reach the 7 Point limit, but Karin Wolff didn't grant me that pleasure. I was really confident on Thursday, no nervous breakdown, no suicide attempts, nothing of that level. But then, Friday, oh my. We had to choose between two Analysis assignments and also one assignment for stochastics and analytic geometry. Analysis was ok,even though it took me forever to solve it and I had to guess a lot, stochastics was fine, maybe I got everything right(that's what you call positive thinking to prevent upcoming nervous breakdowns). So I had only half an hour left(all in all, we had 3 hours, which is definitely not enough, if you're thinking so slowly like me) for analytic geomtry. I looked at the first task and started to cry. No, seriously, I cried. After some minutes I calmed down, managed to calculate a bit, but this analytic geometry was my enemy from the beginning. The assignment had about 5 subtasks and I only made 1 and a half of them, probably all wrong.
Well, I feel depression rising again, so I should head up to my room and start learning English for Tuesday.
Enough for today, I guess.
Maybe I'll take some pics of my desk before I'll throw away all my maths stuff. I'll see.

World hasn't ended...

yet. I survived the maths A-Level, but the day isn't over yet.
I don't wanna lose any words to the test, I already did and I don't want to get depressed. Again.
Anyway, wanted to show some pitchas:
that's what I would call a unorganized working space-or a bed:


from another point of view-there is still some place left to sleep


Due to the calculator, which I didn't place there by purpose, you can see that I am a very mathematic person.
Well, anyway, half of my Cds- the copied ones, not the originals- I actually have made some really nice covers for some of them. I'll shoot some pics of them tomorrow.


I'll go to bed, because I have a headache, caused by alcohol this afternoon.
cheerio.

Call me math godess

yeah, that's right, I made it to 6points in the last maths test, which was truly my last maths test in my whole life, not regarding the math A level exam. But that is no normal text, it's absolutely "El Horror!". I was very close to a panic attack this morning during German lesson and I had a freak out later this afternoon as not being able to solve simple math questions. I even cired. Imagine that. Cried because of mathematics. I'm convinced, that on this Friday, the world will end. And if not, I surely aim for making March, 17th as the new easter, the national day of resurrechtion. This is in no way exaggerated, because if I won't die during the exam, I'll die from the alcohol I'll pour into my body right after the test.
Well, I have to stop this topic, before it drives me into another panic attack. I actually wanted to celebrate a little bit of my rather good math grade, but somehow I can't enjoy it, because the thought of Fridays weighs it all down.
I even feel guilty for not learning right now, but I needed a small break, 'cause I couldn't concentrate anymore. Tomorrow'll be a heavy day, too, I'll wag Biology to learn math(4 hours) and then again maths lessons and then come home at three pm to learn maths again. I guess, 'normal thinking people' would be thinking, that this is fairly enough maths to be well prepaired, but no. I still come to think, that I absolutely know nothing. Sad, yeah.
I have to go back to my desk and maths books.
Yay. fun, fun, fun.
Probably won't sleep tonight.
never mind, my life ends in 4 days anyway, so who needs sleep?

A Level

yeah, starting a new blog with that painful thought that I actually should be doing somethin else: Learning, studying my maths books. I guess, this should be considered as a bad sign, foreshadowing my new blog future. I dunno.
Anyway, I should be learning, because it's only 6 days away and I'm still not prepared for it. In my mind, thoughts are circeling about what alcohol I should buy to get drunk the fastest and the worst right after the (first!!!) exam. Maybe vodka mixed with passion fruit. That definitely sounds seducing- to me.
So, I'm leaving my new baby.
Farewell.